Well Being | 7 Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt
In this short read, self-development coach Laura Rachel shares her tips on tackling fear and limiting blocks in a way that will get your mind on your side and leave you feeling full of self-belief.
Uncover the fear behind it
Self-doubt is a form of fear. Understanding that fear is a protection mechanism can be extremely helpful when dealing with doubt: our brain is wired to keep us safe and fear exists to prevent us from doing something outside our comfort zone, where we could risk experiencing uncomfortable emotions, such as shame. Recognising this makes it easier to step back and view doubt more objectively.
Some common fears are: fear of failure, success, judgement, rejection, shining too brightly. When we delve even deeper, we often find at the root a fear of not being good enough as we are. When you experience self-doubt, ask yourself: What is the fear behind this?
Focus on your effort not the outcome
If we only praise ourselves for positive outcomes, we’re more likely to stay in our comfort zone and experience self-doubt when trying something new. When we focus on simply doing what we said we would, we feel more confident trying new things and dealing with setbacks or failure because our self-esteem isn’t attached to the outcome.
Praise yourself for showing up and keep supporting yourself, regardless of the outcome.
Find proof from past experiences
Our subconscious is always looking for proof to confirm our beliefs. When we focus on evidence that we are capable of achieving what we want, the idea that we aren’t weakens. Make a note of the times you’ve accomplished something similar, shown you have the ability to or felt truly confident in yourself. Keep updating your list and come back to it whenever you need a confidence boost.
Focus on your strengths
The ubiquity of social media means we have a greater number of people to compare ourselves to and self-doubt can swiftly creep in when we start to focus on others. The key to stopping comparison is bringing the focus back to you and your capabilities.
What qualities and strengths do you love about yourself? What are you good at? What are you proud of achieving? Look back at the past 3 months and make a note of the times you’ve felt proud of yourself or achieved something, however small.
Remember that not everything you think is true
So often, we are more than capable of what we want to do and it’s our mind that convinces us otherwise. When we focus on thinking rationally, we can teach our brain that our thoughts are not always accurate. There is often no real reason to doubt ourselves.
Ask yourself “How can I look at this fear in a more rational way?”
Clarify your values
When you get clear on what’s important to you and what drives you (i.e. your values), you will find self-doubt diminishes. Identifying and pursuing your values helps you to feel more empowered and to connect to your true self and purpose. It also helps you to feel more confident making decisions about which direction to take and what to say yes and no to.
Treat yourself with compassion
Self-compassion is key to building confidence and developing a healthy relationship with yourself. Try to notice how you talk to yourself. When you become aware of your thoughts you can make a conscious choice to replace a critical thought with a more compassionate one. Think about what you would say to your younger self or a loved one and speak to yourself in the same way.